I have recently come across a few beliefs of mine that I have discovered to be false. Meaning something about life which I believed to be true isn’t and/or something about life I believed to be untrue actually is true. Also, I have come across something which I knew to be true, but didn’t want to believe it was true, so I assumed it couldn’t be true and tried to act upon principals which were erroneous in the end because it indeed is true. or so I have learned.
Often I disregard a harsh reality because the harshness is exposed only in infrequent and inconsequential instances. Meaning that I can continue on for quite a long time with a certain intuitive itch left unscratched because the situation has not grown to a large enough proportion to initiate action on my part. Then, the clouds part, I look to the sky with my hands up, and say “I knew it all along.”
Yes I am still learning, many things. At no point in life can I say that everything I have been learning has been learned and that I can start out fresh with a new set of things to learn. The more experience I accumulate, the more I manipulate them together in my tool box for use in current affairs. Which bothers me because some situations cannot be forgotten because of their shinning characteristics which will most definitely come in handy later, if not for myself specifically, but for someone else seeking help.
There are gaps in time where my social goals are put aside for the sake of indulgence. Aside from these gaps I am doing what I want to do, which, I realize, is not always what is natural to do. But I cannot be both who I want to be and who is natural with certain people, because of this I find myself in a state of being very unsure.
Maybe I am just prone to being unsure and therefore cling to (or create) situations that validate that my feeling is correct. Either way I am better off when in my own element and in the company of those who I do not have doubts about. I am just happy here with the normal ways of things.
I have been to told to prepare myself for many possible situations, not because they will happen, but because things do happen to some people and I should make myself aware of signs to look for which indicate that I actually AM in that kind of situation…. and I should know how to handle them.
Dreams have their own timing. So enjoy putting the puzzle pieces of life together as they appear in front of you instead of pondering on the couch how it didn’t happen as you planned. You might miss your next window of opportunity to act. If you are paying attention, you’ll notice that windows of opportunity appear all the time They do not all look the same so you must make the right wish (within your means, so for me this is just a little above realistic) to alert your mind to learn how to recognize the necessary windows. It is all in your mind.
I’ve always noticed those people who always have something to be pissed off at, mainly because I have solved some sort of undesirable situation in life on their behalf and expect them to be happy now. With these people they never get happy, they just find something else to be pissed off at. After a few problems solved I tend to stop trying to solve their problems because, in the overall scheme of things, there is no point in putting any of my energy into these situations because it doesn’t actually solve the other person’s internal need for negativity in life.