Alright, so yeah, that was awesome! Lets do it again and again and again and again…..until we decide to do something else again and again and again…. and so it goes… just the two of us.
Every once in a while I come across people with certain characteristics that I want to experience more of. Often times it is because their manner of exchanging communicative signals and social games is similar to mine, so the conversation keeps going even if nothing of useful substance is actually being said. And key, we both enjoy it, or seem to, because we keep doing it.
Infatuation evolves out of wanting to interact but not being able to get enough of the interaction. So the mind essentially improvises, to my dismay. Now the person ceases to exist to me in their real form. I unknowingly create an extra-added layer of perception, which I end up rationalizing as real because my mind is great at making up perfect scenarios to fulfill the excess emotion that isn’t properly stimulated by the external world. It creates confusion between whom I’m actually thinking of and whom I’m actually in the presence of. This makes me nervous, because I start having difficulty acting normal since I don’t actually know the person well enough to know if how I perceive them is actually how they are. Thus how I want to behave is held back in fear that I perceive the situation incorrectly. The remedy: to actually hang out with the person as much as possible until I find that one thing about the person that I absolutely cannot put up with. This dulls the emotional need to incorporate the person into my thoughts. Once they are out of my thoughts, I’m free of the person I was hoping they would be.
Day Four of the Ant Infestation:
This day of our lord, the 5th of October, Two Thousand and Ten.
They keep coming back. Honey is their main target. They’ve ambushed all three jars, which we made the mistake of storing in three different parts of the kitchen. I thought we had their liquid gold sealed away safely, but Mom didn’t put a jar of honey back in a zip lock bag last night and they found the jar. By morning they had ambushed the last part of the Kitchen which has anything in it. I’m hungry and I can’t find any specific food among the random bags and boxes packed into the living room. The bug spray smell holds me hostage in my room where I have only limited space to play with my dog. Homework and my computer are my only comforts.