Monthly Archives: February 2019

On Privacy

On Privacy

It is really healthy to be in relationships where you aren’t being monitored for some hidden meaning, emotion, or opinion.

People have feelings an emotions that they do not share with you because they do not think they are fully developed yet or aren’t actually relevant.  If you find yourself checking here in order to get some deeper insight into what I am thinking or feeling, then please close your browser and go ask me how I feel.

By the way, not everything revolves around you or is caused as a reaction to you.  There is a whole world of experience that affects emotions and thoughts.  You are part of that, but not all of it, which is healthy and normal.


On True Friendship

On True Friendship

How does one measure social success?  It is a very personal question the begets very personal answers.

I can only speak for myself.

I have achieved this success for myself in two very finite ages in life. The first in junior high between the age of 13 and 14.  The second around the age of turning 25.

Both times I was my own free self, naturally adhering to my own sense of permeance.  I was treating all the people who I related to as I would naturally with my own sense of respect.  In turn those people we willing to band together for me at minute times wondering who else was in my network.  They respected me.  They did not care who else I brought into their presence.  They were willing for the time being to explore my connections.

Both time I was at awe at how well the people at my party got along.  No where was to be found an individual who needed private attention or relationship reassurance.  I found myself suddenly able to be completely at ease with a large group of people w”

ho congregated solely because I exist.

Sadly, this is but a pipe dream to my normal reality.

My normal for friends is that they despise each other.

“they are richer than me”

“They are more educated than me”

“They are competition with me”

“I cannot compete with them”

“They are Asian” (yes racists fucks)

“They are American” (yes racists fucks aka non-white born in the USA citizens who for some stupid asian-valedictorian reason think “americans” are only white.)  I get it, you think that because you conquered our school system you think you are warrior enough to put down the fact that every generation of mine fucking fought for this society to exist.  You don’t know shit about being an American.  You don’t know what it is like to be raised in a war-zone PTSD household passed down from generations of war-zone PTSD households.  Maybe you do, because you are refugee.  I respect that. Because refugee families don’t complain.  Those of you who “got in” or slid by, go fuck yourself, no one respects you but you already know that.

I did it finally.  I achieved a situation where all the important people in my life came together to support me.  NO LITERALLY.  This wasn’t my wedding where people wanted to attend to see everyone else in attendance..  When I was 25 all these friends were there to support me. ME. ME. ME.  At the 11th hour they all showed up to support ME.

I went out in the world and made real, true friends.  These folk dropped everything that thursday night to come hang out with me.  The real me.  Not the chick that puts up with her boyfriend.  not the chick whose other friends said “hey so-and-so is leaving for the semester, let have a party for the event”.

No. I individually told all these people “hey, my dad needs to have open heart surgery, I need to go home tomorrow. I do NOT know when I will be back”

They all responded with, “I will help you pack, what time will you be at you place.”

Those are true friends.  They did not care who else would be there.  They had no restrictions on friend ship and support.  They simply said, “I will be there,”

And so sets the bar for friendship.  If you have criteria…. go crank your own shaft of meaningless assholes who let you down before while I enjoy the fact that I discovered what a true friend looks like.