Tag Archives: conscious mind



I’m wondering if in fact people would be happier if they weren’t so preoccupied with the way food and drinks taste. There is a quality limit to this, meaning that if an undesirable taste is a result of spoilage, then by all means don’t keep trying it to find something good about it.

I’m also referring to taste just like in choosing clothing, but instead food. I think it is ridiculous to physiologically identify with a food product because its brand. Though I can see the benefits to the self by defining oneself but exterior parameters which outside can easily understand. We are essentially walking through our day accepting and rejecting items in the world and projecting them onto ourselves, being encouraged or discouraged for trying certain aspects on for size.

Same thing goes for religion too. Is it more fitting to worship a male or a female, human or animal, mystical unknown force or a concrete object? It is just categorizing yourself into a comfortable mold to socially fit into and at the same time provide an imaginary helper who understands you better than you understand yourself. Propagation of simple survival techniques such as this works well to distract the conscious mind enough with the outer world so that fear won’t work counter productive to its survival purpose.

It is hard not to live for external identification of who you are by what you choose to surround yourself with all these impression being thrown at us constantly. For me the fine line is drawn between the capable and the not so capable. Being capable to me, means choosing wisely (maybe a bit too cautiously) what influences you allow in and also what influences you seek out.

Also the primary method you gain your information from is another display of taste. After receiving some sort of stimulus from the external world to spark me to action, I prefer to read enough to realize what I cannot figure out on my own. Once I realize that there is more information out there somewhere (which I cannot seem to process or maybe do not know where to look) then I ask, not necessarily a good source, but maybe just a good friend who (through conversation) can help me put things in better prospective before I decide whether or not I have already obtained sufficient information to solve my personal puzzle.

Putting Feelings into Words….

Putting Feelings into Words….

I might just be a more emotional person, or perhaps I just notice my emotions more than others, not sure which since it seems impossible to really feel what others are feeling. There are many times when I just have the right words to express myself, but sometimes, sometimes I feel something building up and I react to it despite the fact that I don’t know what is causing it or why I am reacting to whatever it is. At this point it is extremely irrational because my conscious mind is reacting to a feeling that hangs over me like a cloud and is unable to see the cloud for what it is.

Traumatic situations cause this for me due to confusion and over analysis of what the hell just happened and, for the most part, time (often a lot of time) gives gradual clarity on the situation perhaps this is so because at least the source (the traumatic event) is identified. So this isn’t the type of situation I am speaking of, it is related, yes, but I’m focusing on undiagnosed feelings that bubble up in the course of everyday normal life events. I am also not speaking of ‘worry.’ Worrying implied that one knows what they are worried about and why they are worried about it. ‘Choosing to worry’ would be a different topic as well because choosing also implies one knows the object of the worry and uses a worry-cycle as some sort of means to an end or crutch in order to inhibit more productive and positive behaviors…this would in turn be, once again, another note that would go into detail of what purpose worrying has in life but I really don’t want to face that reality at the moment…. I have something more important to plop onto facebook for the time being.

I want to say it is anxiety, but I feel the term is used to write off feelings as simply “anxiety’ and thus pacifies people into believing that it is a feeling that they will just have to put up with. I don’t believe that is the correct approach, or, just not my way of approaching it.

This heavy feeling comes of many forms. the most recent that brought my thoughts together was when I was hanging out with a friend and I was kinda overwhelmed with some sort of heavy feeling that made it difficult to focus properly on the present moment and what was going on around me. Half of me could live in the present for the sake of survival, while the other half inside was wanting to step away from the social scene to organize my inner thoughts, which, weren’t thoughts at all, it was a heavy mental feeling disconnected from an particular event or issue going on in my life at the moment, or so I felt at the time, but it held me back from simply being myself in the moment and enjoying my company.

Then, like a flash of light, the heavy feeling is gone, why? How? I was simply able to express it with words and thus diagnose where the root of the feeling was. Once diagnosed it no longer bothered me on a emotional level. It turned into a rational, arguable circumstance, one in which I now understand where I have power over it and where I don’t. This understanding makes all the difference in how the feeling affects me and once in words, I can express it to my fellow bipeds and view it from a more detached, unemotionally reactive state. I am therefore able to recognize the feeling in the future and manage its effects on me (subconsciously to a degree) without going through that initial fuzzy state of confusion.

I learn about myself as a result.