Tag Archives: mannerism

On Getting to Know Someone

On Getting to Know Someone

There is a certain point in the getting-to-know-people stage where they are becoming more and more predictable..and you are aware of this.  Suddenly that surprising phone call is no longer out of the blue, that invitation to hang out has a known end, and those mannerism speak for themselves.  Yep, you’ve just learned their personality.  You’ve got it down.  Now what?

In comes repetition and overlaying experiences.  You mix and mingle until, whoops!  You found out what you don’t like about them.  Oh dear, what a loss, you’re high has just fallen and suddenly all those fun memories have an hazy glow that keeps you from remembering that they were once considered cool.  Suddenly they aren’t cool at all.

Oh no! It isn’t that you realized what you don’t like about the person, you realized that you don’t like the person.  Oh a huge difference.  It is so big and potentially painful to the other party that you couldn’t bare to tell them.  So you keep going, keep answering the phone and hanging out.  After all you know you don’t like them, shouldn’t they too be figuring out that they don’t like you too?  Why is it taking so long?  How do I say no?  Why do they argue every time I say no?  How do I get out of this?  Oh god, I’m going to have to see the person soon and I have nothing to say, nothing I want to say and I don’t even feel like smiling.

Every time you are faced with the person, that first thing that you didn’t like about them becomes them.  It is there, walking by your desk, chatting in your ear, sending lines it text.  The person is no longer the person, they are everything that you do not like about them walking on two legs and they know it.  They must know that no one would ever like all of this.  How could they not know?  This is common sense to me, people don’t treat others so rudely and expect to be liked do they?  I learned this in preschool and they are still behaving this way?  Do people not know what a disgusted facial expression means?  Do they not know what it means to wear such an expression all the time?  They don’t. They don’t know.  Because they don’t know what you know.

But wait, sometimes things go the other way.  Sometimes you realize what you don’t like about someone and they never do it again.  Life just goes on and no one seems to notice.  You were waiting for them to do that annoying thing again and they didn’t.  You even held back to give them extra space to say that annoying word and nothing, there was silence.  or even better, they said something that you liked instead.  How wonderful this person is.

Then it continues for a long time and you realize that this person is stable.  They may do things that you don’t like but not every time and if it is a problem, they don’t hang their souls on the issue, they just do something else.  Ahhh, I see, this person is dynamic.  Those are my types of friends.  Shape shifters who don’t always operate on cue and enjoy having a deep pockets of happy social games to play.  You can still toss a nasty social pitch their way as a test, but you’ll notice that they deflect it with ease.  Instead of saying “you bitch!” they say, “I don’t play that game, but I like you so try another.”

Between the two extremes there ly the, well, inliers.  Those who stay in the gray.  You know enough about them that you know you don’t need to know any more about them.  They get a little annoying sometimes because you can never seem to get to know them enough to know whether you like them or not.  Which, in itself, is probably what you don’t like about them that they keep doing over and over so they really fall into the negative.  But give them a chance because sometimes it is just the situation that drives their behavior.

Caught in Limbo

Caught in Limbo

I got out of bed this morning at 11:30 after being woken up to numerous announcements over the hostel loud speaker telling people to check out and get out….luckily I checked in for 2 nights so I don’t have to move if i don’t want to.

I like to lay in bed in the morning and just think… think think think… perhaps I think too much. No I read too much. I was wondering this morning how many of my ideas are actually my own… this thought, btw, isn’t my own, I got it from one of Schopenhauer’s essays, but that’s why I read because it make me think of things that I would normally never have thought of myself. Still, how much of what i do is actually me? Sure I filter though and pick out pieces of what I encounter that I can relate to, but why those things? and why those people? I swear this social networking that everyone claims is so good really just creates more problems and distractions from what people really want to do with their time.

I do have one thought (at least) that I feel is pretty much my own creation: All this single life stuff that I have felt so excited to experience and create will mostly be useless for the rest of my life… or at least I intend it to be useless. I’m just to lazy to spend so much time filtering though guys… I never had to do this before and I am so so so glad that I was spared for 7 years from this ridiculous dating scene that so many people I meet claim to love.

I was done typing but I’ve been away from the computer for so long that I just want to type more things for the Aspects of Me:

I love green food,
I’m not always in the mood to socialize, so i pretend to be asleep, read a book, pretend not to notice people, or simply hide in order to stay in my current bubble.
I love to ride my own momentum
I often soak up people’s mannerism or personality traits, so my personality is partly composed for the people who have made a big impression on me, I don’t always like this habit of mine because it can be too obvious that I’m reacting like someone else.
Many of my goals were actually someone else’s and I’ve accomplished them to simply do it before the originator had the chance… or to simply be more like the person who came up with the idea.
If I really like a song I will listen to it for a week or two straight… or in the case of Bjork… two years straight.
I need that spark with a guy
My body tells me what foods it wants more of…

Out of time…