I have difficulty being friends with people for two reasons:
1) I always have negative thoughts about people swimming in the back of my mind,
2) Everyone is always shit talking everyone else to me.
I am completely confused because deal breakers for me are not the same deal breakers for those people who are already in my world shelling out their opinion like it is Kobe Beef served at the Ritz in Osaka, Japan (as if nothing in the world could possibly be any better than their opinion). Which is fine, but what I really hate is after I get a warning from someone, there is always that look when I go against their warning, which causes me to either have to choose sides or keep my friendship a secret.
I hate bringing my friends together in most circumstances. I love each of them for different reasons and I can’t handle when one person I love dislikes another of equal status. So I usually keep them all separate to preserve my own sanity. Obviously I talk to them because they are nice people whose view of life I respect (or hope to), but goddamn, I can’t help but wonder why my friends are always at war with each other. It must be because I am always at war with myself and the people I associate with usually complement those same competing facets of my personality.