Tag Archives: dictionary

Complaining

Complaining

I’m not sure if I am the only one who makes up definitions for things based on my own experience, but I could have sworn that the definition of ‘complaining’ was something like this:

Complain (Come-Plain) : Repeatedly expressing a grievance over an event or situation that one does not admit (to oneself or others) is under one’s control, but that which one chooses to continue to bitch about for the sake of having something to bitch about, instead of solving the underlying problem or keeping it to oneself so as to save others the problem of having to listen to one’s problems. – from the Dictionary of Me, as a result of an interpretation from the Dictionary of Ex Boyfriend, the Ditcher.

So I was confused when I looked up the actual definition on dictionary.com and it read as follows:

com·plain (kəm-plān’) Pronunciation Key
intr.v. com·plained, com·plain·ing, com·plains

1. To express feelings of pain, dissatisfaction, or resentment.
2. To make a formal accusation or bring a formal charge.

So what the hell is wrong with complaining? Why do people get so pissed off when people complain to them? Under my definition I can see why people would get pissed off, because the complainer just wants something to bitch about and wants no responsibility for their involvement in the issue. I think this one niche of complaining is a cause of the negative stigma surrounding the word. However, the definition in no way implies the sickness people attach to it.

No wonder people tell me (with an tone of discontent) that I’m complaining when I mention something that maybe perceived negative. In my mind I’m not “complaining” in my own negative sense of the word, I’m just mentioning that I’ve gotten a scratchy throat the past 3 winters and don’t know why, or that there is a strange rattle under the hood of my car, etc. etc. I have simply made a statement as to what is on my mind at the moment. And I see it as just that.

The problem here, in my mind, is that I’ve met people along the way who have these ideas about relationships (any kind – BF/GF, friends, etc.) always having to have happy moments and anything negative is either avoided, put down, or quickly swept under the rug with hopes that it will be forgotten. To keep their demons under the rug one then has to guard oneself against any attempts to lift the rug and thus gets angry at people for mentioning grievances in the relationship because it exposes the inner demons.

“Why are you complaining? I treat you good.” (Example contributed courtesy of Miguel of Oz)

It isn’t about the fact that someone is complaining, it is about the fact that they are telling you what they are habitually mulling over in their minds. It may be something that can be compromised upon with proper communication or it may be something that someone just needs to hear themselves say to an outside party to stop the thought from bouncing off the inside of their skull. What one does with the information after a complaint has been lodged is another note, but in the least, be grateful for those people who see you as someone they are safe to express themselves to (both positively and negatively) and vice versa, these people are your real friends.

Greed

Greed

Greed: An excessive desire to acquire or possess more than what one needs or deserves, especially with respect to material wealth. -dictionary.com

Greed is what it is, but not necessarily a bad thing. I see no harm in wanting more. There will always be more to want – more money to make, more education to get, more guys (or girls, if you’re a guy reading this) to sleep with, more fun to have, more fulfilling relationships to experience, more countries to visit, more books to read, [insert a want here], etc. Being able to get something you want which you perceive can be made available to you very often will make you a better person who, in turn, can create a healthy environment for others to thrive in. So greedily wanting more isn’t as bad – in my eyes – as our social system has portrayed it, however when the pursuit of More causes harm to oneself or others, that is when greed lives up to it negative connotation. This is tricky, though, for the pursuer of the More, because his mind has now focused on the More and has formulated a plan for how to get more. The mind is now ill from greed, as with a flu or cold, and thus should be treated gently as such, but the mind doesn’t know when it is sick. It will then confuse a capitalistically efficient route as a fulfilling method to More.

The efficient path will always be there in your mind and you will always be looking for it, because you believe it is right for you to need it; you need those continuous signs pointing you in the right direction to tell you that you are going the right way. So you continue on your yellow brick road leaving behind those who stumble behind your efficient gait, all in the name of your business, be it the business of building yourself, of living the life you always dreamed, of getting that job, of ridding yourself of all the reminders of how you’ve screwed up, of starting fresh and new, etc. You get to your destination, you feel elated and proudly shout out to those who hail your efforts “See the More I’ve accomplished?!?,” “See my wealth of life I’ve experienced because of it?!? And you smile down at all the faces, new and old, gleaming up at you to thank them for their help along the way.

Something is missing, you scan and scan, and search and search, you hug and you hold all those around you, close your eyes even to feel for something that is no longer there despite all the beauty that you’ve convinced yourself to see at your finger tips, that you think you’ve found in all that is new and exciting to you, but It’s not there, It can’t be found, the most precious thing in your life, is gone. why? Because you abandoned it, wrote it off as no longer useful to your efficiency when you thought it got in your way. So just keep telling yourself you’ve found something better, it will help you sleep at night.